Things That Will Not Survive A Parrot In the House.

Your mouse mat.

Anything near the mouse mat (aka the mouse, yes).

Books, etc. No book is complete until it has chewed corners.

The post.

Anything you value: in this case, work.

Right through the middle.

The aglets on the end of hoodies, shoes, etc., and, in fact, any clothes – period.

All of the above have been rescued before maximum damage could occur.

Not pictured: Wires; cables; any technology, but computer keyboards being a favourite; any cloth material; toys (of course); popsicle sticks; tissues; boxes; door frames; anything unattended, ever; anything you’re using. There is a parrot’s creed, which also applies closely to toddlers:

1. If you like it, it’s mine.

2. If I can reach it, it’s mine.

3. If it’s in my beak or foot, it’s mine.

4. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.

5. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.

6. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

7. If I’m chewing something, all the pieces are mine.

8. If it looks like mine, it’s mine.

9. If I saw it first, it’s mine.

10. If you have something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

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There is a bit of a moral to this post. To any new parrot owners… It is not a bird’s fault if it chews something, but rather yours, for not supervising closely enough. Chewing is instinct to them, and they really don’t understand right or wrong. (O. was rather upset about his work, pictured up there with a hole straight through the middle, but with me for not watching Mavi carefully enough!) The truth is that you really have to say goodbye to attachment to material possessions, because just about everything you own is going to get a good chew at some point in its lifetime. Unfortunately, we can’t have eyes everywhere. Sigh.

For things that absolutely mustn’t be chewed to bits – like O.’s hand-written compositions, for example – you simply have to keep it in a locked drawer, out of sight, out mind, out of reach. But be forewarned that – with such intelligent and driven creatures as parrots – it’s quite probable that hiding something will be of very little deterrent. You could try to distract with a new activity or object, but know that some birds are very goal-oriented, and once they’ve seen something of interest, they will do everything in their power to get to it

It’s true.

Ignoring the typo on this, I’m pretty privileged.

Ignoring the typo on this, I’m pretty privileged, *touch wood.*