Scattered Thoughts.

Warning: Health (and health-care) rant! If you don’t care for those, you can just skip to the photos at the bottom.

Lesser-known fact, I have issues with sleep. Chronic exhaustion has been my lifelong companion. Some of my earliest memories are of being literally dragged out of bed by my mum because it was well and truly time to get up and I was craving more sleep. Sometimes I have trouble drifting off (my body naturally falls sleep at around 4:00am, no matter when I’ve woken, or for how many days in a row), but mostly I force myself to sleep at a reasonable time. The trouble then becomes waking up.

Note that I have done the experiment where you go to sleep, don’t set an alarm, and let your body naturally wake itself. Except that I woke 24 hours later. Fail. I’ve also attempted variations therein, where you set alarms for different lengths of sleep. 6, 7, 8 hours, onwards. Nope.

And don’t even try to talk to me without at least 12 hours of sleep.

It never occurred to me that not everyone is this way, so I just never did anything about it. To put it into perspective, I have never, ever in living memory felt refreshed from a night’s sleep. Well… I have actually never woken up and been able to get out of bed without a huge internal battle (and my joint issues don’t help). Ever.

The point of this post is to vent because I hauled my sleepy, painful butt to the doctor’s – whom I just registered with – explained my situation, and had her say, ‘Everyone feels tired sometimes. It’s not cause for worry, and it obviously doesn’t affect you that badly.’

Not to be sarky, but I was in a doctor’s clinic, and I hate those kinds of places. And needles. But mostly doctors’ offices. There is something goin’ on with me. Plus I’d just explained the chronic nature of my tiredness and pain… It stops me from making it to class sometimes, from going out to see people I really want to see, and doing a lot of the things I want to do.

I just want to wake up feeling refreshed. Just once. I want to know what it feels like not to drag myself through the day.

She then asked if I’d seen a psychologist about it; I said that I didn’t think it was psychological, and she just stared and said, ‘Mmhm.’ After my mentioning a couple things, she prescribed an anti-reflux medicine, which – although I said I didn’t think it was related – I’ve decided to try anyway. It can’t hurt.

Finally, I inquired about my knee, which is swollen and quite painful. I just wanted to know if there was anything there that I should be concerned about in terms of getting it to heal okay.

She said immediately, ‘Have you been vaccinated for tetanus after the bite?’

Me: ‘No?’ Needles? Quick! Backtrack – tell her Bobo is an animatronic experiment gone amiss.

‘Hm. Are your immunisations up to date?’

Me: ‘Yes, to get into the country.’ Phew.

‘Well, it’s obviously infected, so I’ll prescribe an antibiotic.’

No puss, no extreme redness, no heat, just the swelling and bruising? I’m not a medical professional, but I do not think it is. Nevertheless, she printed a prescription. And I walked away with no more answers than I had before, feeling brushed off and frustrated. Though I had tried to stand up for myself, it seemed impossible. She had a vocal tic – ‘mhm’ – happening with each couple words I uttered – like something out of a comedy sketch where one character is listening with only half an ear.

I just do not know what is happening, but I feel it is more serious than she was taking it! (Please note that I really, really like the NHS. It’s just this one experience that I’m not happy with.)

What about you, have you had an experience where the doctor just doesn’t seem to be listening?

Anyway, I think I’ll conclude more positively with photos that don’t need words.

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14 thoughts on “Scattered Thoughts.

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  1. Oh my, I know how you feel. I am very much the same sleep wise, but mine maybe due to the fact I have diabetes. But sleep disorders can often be associated with stress/depression, pshycoligical and even down to routine. But doctors can be a Bl**dy pain, and it seems even more so now as they are trying to save money.

    Do you find it ironic tho, that when they want you to have a check up they make an appointment for you and then when you are sick you cant get to see them at all? There you go, my rant over with! 😀


    1. That DOES annoy me. I had needed an appointment pretty much ASAP, but the doctors actually told me they didn’t book in advance. Ah, okay, then how do you have cancellations? The doc did mention a sleep clinic at my appointment, but said that she’d rather try the pills first. I explained that I have a sensory disorder and can’t swallow very well, and she told me to dissolve them in water. Found out that the pills dissolve into a hundred even TINIER pills, which is just as bad for me. Sigh. I guess I’ll try another doctor at that clinic, and hope they’re a little more sympathetic! Sleep issues should definitely warrant concern.


  2. I also sympathise with how you feel. I also assumed that never feeling refreshed after a night’s sleep was normal. In my case, I do sometimes wonder if my problem stems from having mercury fillings when young. Who knows?! Lovely photos. 🙂


  3. my sleep issues are associated with fibromyalgia…nortriptyline helps me alot. 🙂 I have had the “mhmm” far too many times even now…with a chronic illness I pretty much help myself and if it requires professional help I suck up it up as half time they won’t do much anyway. lol


    1. I tend to avoid doctors at all costs, so have been very blissfully ignorant. I dunno… I have a feeling I’ll have to do a lot of sucking it up, too. That horrible mhmm. >:-o If I can just get diagnosed, I can do my own research and be more of an advocate for myself. Right now I’m just sort of trying to coerce something out of them!


      1. Good luck! Sadly it can take years! Obviously some conditions you will need to have a professional to help you but for certain things I feel for the most part lifestyle changes can be enough!


        1. Thanks! Working on eating better and exercising more helped me a bit, but it’s just become obvious that I need to do something and get help. Guess I’ll just be standing up for myself more at my next appointment!


  4. YESyesyes! My knee problems (which, after going to a “legit” orthopedist, was diagnosed as “common” amongst adolescents and young women, of which I am both) went undiagnosed for FOUR MONTHS!! At first the docs just tried to tell me it was growing pains–it was NOT growing pains, I was crying myself to sleep, some days I skipped out on school because it hurt to much to walk. I crawled around my house a lot. I had a doc who always seemed like she was hyped up on way too much caffeine, talking about 90 mph all the time, and REPEATED HERSELF. After the suspicion of growing pains had been ruled out, her newest fixation was myositis–I probably heard that word tossed around about 60 times per doc session: (“I’m just thinking it’s probably like a myositis thing, to be honest. I mean, I’ve never seen this before, but it’s probably something like myositis, to be honest. Yeah, it’ might be myositis. Like I said, I don’t have all the answers here, to be honest with you, I’m just spitballing here, but it’s probably myositis…”) EERRGH! When I went up to Seattle to meet with a professional children’s orthopedist, she looked over my X-rays, had me do some exercises, and diagnosed the issue within ten minutes. >:/
    Thank you for providing the venue in which to rant like that! 🙂
    I hope you get sorted out and that your next doc/appointment is way more supportive! (It doesn’t really make sense…I think most of the time our body knows what it needs more than the doctor does!) Going undiagnosed is the worst 😦

    P.S. Love the drizzly dashboard pic!


    1. Thanks – and no problem, haha. I don’t know what’s going on with doctors, but it’s kiiinda alarming. I tend to avoid them, so was blissfully ignorant of possible bad attitudes. At home, I’ve had the same doc since childhood, which really helps. Here – possibly because I’m baby-faced – she was not properly listening. Glad you found the right doctor… Hopefully I will, too. At least this one doesn’t repeat herself quite like yours did, haha. I might have just said something ridiculous (and random) just to interrupt.


  5. Beautiful beautiful birdie photos…

    Yes, docs suck big time. Hard to find a good one. And they are so undereducated… When my diabetic father was in the hospital, they wondered during rounds why his sugar was so high. I tried to explain to them that after giving him hospital breakfast consisting of a corn muffin and rice crispies (!), they should immediately give him his morning insulin shot! Or his sugar will spike! They looked at me like I was crazy. And that happened every day! I am fighting hard not to use bad words right now… LOL

    And with you… I am 100% sure it is not psychological. If there is a symptom, there must be an underlying cause. Could be anything, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, hormonal imbalances, hypothyroidism… Have you tested your TSH levels? (thyrodi stimulating hormone). Hypothyroidism makes you feel tired and gloomy. I always felt tired, slept till noon, always walked with a cloud around my head… A daily thyroid hormone pill, and I have energy again.

    Good luck.


    1. That is just downright alarming about your dad’s situation! Wow. That is a million times worse than a non-sympathetic doctor! I do know what you mean, though. They just don’t listen. I’ve had my thyroid checked and am awaiting the results. I hope it’s okay, because I have a sensory disorder that affects my swallowing (and therefore pill-taking ability). If this doctor doesn’t help me get to the bottom of the issue, I’ll try another at the practice. Hopefully SOMEONE will take me seriously!


  6. Hi, I am so so so sorry to hear about your sleeping problem and your experience with your doctor!! I always like to rant about DOCTOR and their arrogant, ignorant stinky attitude!! Yes, I meant what I said, if any doctors read this and couldn’t agree with how I think about YOU, I DO NOT CARE!!!!! Just like you do not care about your patient and treating them like a number!!!!!!!
    Two years ago, I been diagnosed with Grave Disease, it’s an autoimmune disease that affects the thyroid gland. It was like death sentence to me when I being told by the doctor because it’s an incurable disease, meaning I have to live with it for the rest of my life and I was 31!! I got three choices : one, medication; second, Radioactive Iodine treatment(RAI); surgery to remove part of my thyroid gland! After doing my research, I decided I will not and can not accept the number two and three options because they are not a solution. If I took RAI, I will hop from overactive thyroid gland to underactive thyroid gland and I will have to take medication to push my thyroid hormone up for the rest of my life!! When I questioned about that, the doctor simply said, ” it’s easier to have an underactive thyroid gland (Hypothyroid) than the overactive one. If I accepted the operation, there is a risk that the surgeon might accidentally remove my para-thyroid gland which is important to control the Calsium level in my blood. So, as a solution, I will need to take medication to control my calcium level and probably artificial thyroid hormone for the rest of my life. For your information, all these information were from my own research, none came from my doctor!!! She got offended when I told her I refuse to accept RAI nor surgery!! From my point of view, it’s very simple for her to send me to the RAI or operation theater, at the end of the day, I am the one that have to take the consequences!! You know what I mean?? The worst part is, it stays with me for the rest of my life!! You know what I mean?? This is just a small part of my nightmare from dealing with the so call DOCTOR!!! I been through worst and completely helpless!! It won’t help when my mother told me to accept my fate either.
    I am an outright stubborn person and a willful daughter. I refused to accept my fate nor my life, I started to do more research on alternative treatments like Homeopathy, Traditional Chinese Medication(TCM) and etc. I have learnt a lot and completely opened my eyes on the supplements we take everyday and the pills that the doctor have given us. Let me put it like that, my mother had been a follower of everything the doctor told her, she took supplements religiously and at the end she got Rheumatoid Arthritis. My father seldom take medication my the doctor, he is more to Chinese herbs and now in his late 70s, he is much more healthy than my mother. Another example I really like to share, my father had pre-stroke syndrome two years ago but the doctor could not diagnose his problems. Let’s say, he had experience blurry vision, dizziness and kept repeating a phrase… was obvious he got pre-stroke, wasn’t he? So, he looked into his book about Chinese herb and started to dose himself with Hawthorne berries water for about 6 months. He still kept drinking his Hawthorne drinks but not as frequent as before, after another 6 months, he did a blood test. Wen he got the test, the doctor was amazed with his blood result, the doctor even asked what he eats to have such a good health in his age!!! Me? I have heart palpitation as it’s one of my Grave Disease symptom. After three days of medication on the Chinese herbs, my heart rate back to normal. One month later, I have another consultation with my doctor in the hospital, he wasn’t impress I still refused RAI and he tried to convince me with my heart rates. Unfortunate to him, my heart rates were as normal as any healthy person.
    I do not against allopathics and I do believe there are good one out there, somewhere out there, I am just deeply disappointed with most of their attitude. They are healers, they supposed to have more sympathy and cares but NO, the white cloak has make them too arrogant!
    avianstudents, if you like to know more about herbs and alternative treatment, feel free to ask, I am more than happy to share with you. You are not over reacting and it is not normal to sleep more than 12 hours. I hope you will dig out the culprit of your problems as soon as possible because it is really not a small matter.
    In case you think otherwise, I do not have any benefits with the treatment I talk about and you can get the treatments UK, you need not to follow my treatment…they are homeopathics in UK.

    Good Luck!!!


  7. I know how you feel, and I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had healthcare issues, too! (I like a good healthcare rant, as well, me.)

    I have personally had both good doctors and not-so-good ones. The latest has been quite unhelpful! I really appreciate the lifestyle that homoeopathy promotes, although I am myself sceptical. It’s truly interesting to hear your experiences, and also great that you and your dad found something that works for both of you. I know that when a doctor isn’t helping you, you’ve got to take matters into your own hands, and that can include your own treatment and research! I appreciate the offer, though, and I wish you the best!


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